Sentimelancholy

I wake up from my afternoon slumber
My heart beating fast
I feel nauseated, anxious, worried, and angry
Why I feel this way? Is my life is incomplete? Or is it because you're not by my side?

I really hate this feeling. I sometimes think why am I alone? I know this is my fault.
But lately you've been entering my mind. I see shadow of yourself.
I don't know why... maybe my regret has caught up with me
If only there's another chance... a chance which is only a dream

I will not expect too much of it. They told me go after you.
But knowing that chance would never come, and you already say non
My will start to shamble, I could only say... "For the best for you"
I wish to let you go that point on

But still the reflection of your face... bothering me again.
And near this Easter, those vision is getting stronger
Since you avoid all contact with me, I probably won't try to bother you
Trying not to hurt you anymore
It's okay, it's allright... getting back together is just a fairytale for me

I think those who can get back together are the luckiest couple alive
I'm a realist... who suffers when the dreamers can meet their dream
By the time I manage to get my dream to see you again, it will be in our deathbed

So with this, I pray to get with all my heart and soul
I wish her to remember me, the good and the bad
Remember who I am and who I was
Because I remember what I did to her

Life isn't perfect, I'm not a perfect prince for her
I'm not romantic nor faithful
But I'm truthful, which hurt us both
If I'm not meant for her, then why this haunting me
Yes, I took that line straight from Daniel Bedingfield song

I remember her words, "we only realize it when we lost that which are dear and precious to us."
Now it's just regret for me, and people asking me if I love her, why I left her
I cannot give you straight answer my friend, I can only say I won't make mistake like this again
Probably, cause I'm a man. I might not be faithful, but I will try to keep promise to myself

Even thought she doesn't care about me anymore, let me remember how kind she was to me
Even thought she hate me forever, let me remember what made me love her in the first place
Even thought she will fade me from her memory, let me keep her inside the box which is inside my head

With this I held my head up high, facing the sky
Holding back the tears... singing "oo muite....


ue o muite arukou
namida ga kobore naiyouni
omoidasu harunohi
hitoribotchi no yoru

ue o muite arukou
nijinda hosi o kazoete
omoidasu natsunohi
hitoribotchi no yoru

shiawase wa kumo no ueni
shiawase wa sora no ueni

ue o muite arukou
namida ga kobore naiyouni
nakinagara aruku
hitoribotchi no yoru

omoidasu akinohi
hitoribotchi no yoru

kanashimi wa hosino kageni
kanashimi wa tsukino kageni

ue o muite arukou
namida ga kobore naiyouni
nakinagara aruku
hitoribotchi no yoru

--------------------------------

I look up when I walk so the tears won't fall
Remembering those happy spring days
But tonight I'm all alone

I look up when I walk, counting the stars with tearful eyes
Remembering those happy summer days
But tonight I'm all alone

Happiness lies beyond the clouds
Happiness lies above the sky

I look up when I walk so the tears won't fall
Though my heart is filled with sorrow
For tonight I'm all alone

whistling

Remembering those happy autumn days
But tonight I'm all alone

Sadness hides in the shadow of the stars
Sadness lurks in the shadow of the moon

I look up when I walk so the tears won't fall
Though my heart is filled with sorrow
For tonight I'm all alone

Things I neglect - Being Good One

This is a reflection of myself, a step to being a good person. Things that I neglect;

I rarely stop and pickup the stuff that people drop. I mostly just ignore it
I rarely lend a hand to a person who move his luggage into the train. I mostly just standing by watching
I rarely stop and listen to the musician playing his songs. I mostly just drop some coins and go away
I rarely have time to visit my friends. I mostly spend my time at home
I rarely call home to my family. I mostly spend my time alone

Never let some things to wither

Everything can be so hectic and busy with our lives,
Sometimes we tend to overlook small things
When a friend you've known since a long time tried to maintain contact with you
Even though you never reply back or even say hi
A friend who tried to be sincere and hoping that you reply back

You said you don't want things to change before
But the time and distance has changes relationship
Your friend looked up at the social network pages, seeing how you reply to the other friends
He felt that it was ok, probably you forgot or just too busy
When you were about to leave home, he even tried to get your number
Calling you, accompanying you during the time you went to the airport
Promised him to call back or send a message

Another days has gone by, the friends thought that you were busy again
Asked for your numbers again from the others
Even sending you birthday greetings

Still, no word from you
He tried to call you when you were away with your friends, and asked him to talk later
One day you were online on his messenger list
He greets you, tried to talk on how things goes
But you only replied to him like he was an unknown person you just met
This made him felt neglected, as if he only exist on his own mind as a friend of yours

He tried not to give up on you, he knows you are having a hectic and busy day
One more SMS, he though... to cheer you up
You did reply, only to that message...
I guess people has change on me, he thought
Seeing how you treat the others still as your close friends

The things that will made him wither away from your memory
He laughed at the time when him and you having wonderful conversation with each others
A bitter laugh, because he felt that good old time isn't there anymore
Only staring at that empty room in the corner
Wondering to himself, that he probably isn't suited as your best friend
Seeing how you treat the others quite well

He felt alone in that corner
Only waiting to be withered away from your memory...
The next time you meet him, he wouldn't be exist anymore, just an empty shell of who he was from the old days....

Both of us need to grow up

You know that I realized
That I might not be a mature man yet
For hurting you when I don't really mean it too
You make it so, I don't even know whats true

Yes, I might be not be a mature man yet
But I am who I am, as a man should
A mistake a man would make

But you should know that we both need to grow up
When you say what you meant to say, you should really hold on to it
Don't make me confused over your words
Be honest girl, let me know how you are been doing

Don't just left me stranded
Don't left me hanging
Because it's going to make me to bother you
Oh, just tell it straight to my face girl

I know the truth hurts and I know I will try to take it as a bitter pill
How hard is it to say I've move on without you
Oh, really... should I even bother to ask?

I'm may not be mature, but you help me shaping it up
May I remind you, you need to grow up too you know?
Heck, we both are... none of us are saint anyway

I know it's time to move on
A Time for a time, to make us grow
Till then we due part, may we meet each other again, as adults.

Hey there shining sun!

Whenever I walk in this hour
Wherever I walk in the broad daylight
I can see you smilin on, from behind that grey cloud
It makes my day doesn't seem so sad anymore

I've cradled too long inside my hole
Now it's time to go outside
Under the rainy day...
But somehow my heart just want to sing (ooh yeah)

Look at me, oh look at me...
Under the hail of water
I'm starting to sing like crazy
Nothing else matters to me (oooooooooooh!)

I couldn't care more or less
If I get a cold or slipped on the pavement
As long as I can dance du bi du di duap...
I know that rainbow is around the corner

Oh hey there Mr. Sunshine!
Long time no see you around
I've just waited for you to come out and play
Oh hey there Mr. Sunshine!
Where have you been gone all along?
Won't you come and sit down with me....

After all I've been through
No use regretting what I've been done
I'm just me after all
At least I see the world with newfound view

I couldn't stopped smilin
Knowing beyond that gloomy face
You still smilin as always
Not only to me, that's a fact

Oh hey there Mr. Sunshine!
Long time no see you around
I've just waited for you to come out and play
Oh hey there Mr. Sunshine!
Where have you been gone all along?
Won't you come and sit down with me

Goodbye Mr.Sunshine!
See you later Mr.Sunshine!
We will see each other again around the corner
Because I know we still have the day after today
And you will always be around

Life is a bitch and so does you

Lately I've been thinking that I'm being too nice to you
Whenever I try to be close with you, you left me out
You never care or even look at me in the eyes
I realize that I have to cut loose the rope that hanging me

I don't need you, heck you never bothered
Thanks for the coffee in the morning, taste great after I drank it
I remember the things that you like to do whatever you like
Heck now I rather do whatever I like

People say life's a bitch... and of course you are a bitch too
You are older than me but none the wiser after I think about
Heck, an offer of friendship doesn't seem anything to you
Even if you did lie and I try to forgive, then again you wouldn't even bother to hear me out

Have fun with your damn cocktail party
I hope you get drunk and have worse hang over, ha ha!
Like the loose canon you were
Thanks for the free lesson!

Life is a bitch, because you act like one.

Keep on going

My life will go on without you
Even this wound still sting
I will always walk a mile more than before
So do you without me
Let time get the distance between us
Until we forget how each others look like

But we will still remember the day, we spent together forever
In the red chest we always carry
My life will go on without you
Even how hard I wished I could turn back the time
Back when we still knew each others

I will walk a mile more than before
Letting the timeless journey heal my wound
I will try to forget the warmth of your body
Until I found a new love in the future